


Dear Spencer

by dearsam



Series: Love, Scott [2]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Developing Relationship, Hotch is trying to make things right, M/M, Reid is with another team, The team don't understand what happened, Trust Issues, Two fools in love, at least for a while, everyone hates Hotch
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-24
Updated: 2015-05-24
Packaged: 2018-04-01 00:52:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3999706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearsam/pseuds/dearsam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the outcome of Spencer's emails to Aaron turns out to be less than favourable, the young genius is transferred to another unit. While the team blames Hotch for this, the Unit Chief is more concerned with making things right with Reid.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dear Spencer

**Author's Note:**

> Oh my God! This story has truly developed a life of its own. I'm not complaining too loudly, however.  
> I'm quite happy to be back with the second instalment, and hope that it will calm some nerves after the disastrous end of part 1. 
> 
> Following some comments I received on my other story, I paid special attention to the formatting of this story, meaning the dialogues especially. That means that this chapter looks like one of those one line things I detest so much, but hopefully it'll make the reading process easier for you :)

Monday morning found Spencer Reid at the office before anyone else had the chance (or stupid idea) to get there. At least his idea to avoid his –former!- team seemed to work out for him. It seemed like such a small consolation in the bigger picture, but he was willing to take whatever he could get at the moment. His hands worked rapidly, shoving personal belongings and several files into the box that he had put just in front of his desk. It took no more than ten minutes until the work space was clear and ready to be used by his successor. Arms around the box, he turned around and froze as he was greeted by the sight of JJ. She mustered first his face, then what he was holding, and finally his desk.

“Oh no.” Blonde hair began to fly from side to side as she shook her head. “No no no no. Whatever it is that you think you’re doing, you better stop right now.”

Spencer sighed. He had no idea what Hotch wanted to tell the team about his sudden transfer, but he guessed that it wouldn’t be the truth. That was fine by him, just fine. The whole thing was humiliating enough to begin with. “JJ, it’s fine. I cleared this with Hotch… and Cruz, for that matter. I’ll still be around, when the team isn’t out on a case.”

She cried out in dismay and threw her hands up, obviously frustrated.  
“That’s sort of my point. _We_ are your team! Hotch won’t exactly thank you for sneaking off at the crack of dawn.”

Reid sucked in a deep breath and held back a dry scoff.

“Besides, Garcia will kill you for this. And Morgan? Did you even consider-“

He stepped up to her, pressed a kiss to her cheek and nodded. “I’ll see you around. I left something on your desk for Henry. Make sure he gets it, yeah?”Eyes squeezed shut, he hurried away as fast as he could.

 

 

_Spencer shook all over. Not a subtle tremble… a full on, teeth-chattering shaking of limbs. It had seemed like such a good idea at first. The flirting and the mystery of it and the chance to speak his mind. But now? What had he been thinking? Reid had never even considered the possibility of a meeting. And when things had progressed, and he’d started to take this into consideration, it had never occurred to him that this could possibly turn out to be the worst idea he’d ever had. Well, now he knew. Stupid, stupid, stupid!_

_He looked down at his trembling fingers and intertwined them to regain a semblance of control over his emotions. His mind was running ahead, imagining all kinds of nightmare scenarios. What would Hotch think? How angry would he be? More importantly, how forgiving **could** he be? _

_Reid almost ran for it when he heard the soft chime of the bell that announced another patron entering the restaurant, a smooth voice saying, “Hotchner. A table for two?” Panic flooded his system and Reid couldn’t concentrate enough to catch the waitress’s response. Keeping his gaze on his hands, he muttered a breathless, “Oh God, what have I done?” to himself._

 

Hotch knew that he looked bad when he entered the bullpen on Monday. He’d avoided looking into a mirror as much as possible that morning, but going by how he was feeling, he simply had to look as if death had spit him out. He wasn’t even halfway to his office when JJ and Morgan stopped him.

“What is going on, Hotch?”

He looked at their media liaison and realised with a sigh that she looked as furious as she sounded. Another look at Reid’s desk confirmed his suspicions.  
“Maybe we could discuss this in my office?”

Morgan shook his head.  
“JJ saw him pack his stuff at some ungodly hour this morning, Hotch. What the hell?”

The Unit Chief rubbed his temple and nodded. “Conference room, then. Give me five minutes.”

 

_Reid could pinpoint the moment Hotch realised whose back he was looking at. He stopped in his tracks for a few moments, obviously considering if he wanted to approach the table at all, and Spencer could honestly say that he was grateful to have his back turned to the man. He almost hoped that the other profiler would turn around and leave._

_Of course that didn’t happen. Hotch stepped into his line of sight a few seconds later. The panic left the younger agent almost as suddenly as it had come on to him. He felt oddly calm now, as if he knew what was ahead of him. Nevertheless he kept his gaze fixed to the table in front of him. That was where he kept them until Hotch spoke for the first time. “_

_"You were not on the list of people I hoped to find here tonight. I’m not stupid – obviously your name was on another list altogether. Just not on the one of people I actually wanted to see in this place… at this time.”_

_Spencer tried to look up, he really, honestly did, but his heart felt so heavy in his chest that he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. There was no way he could look at his boss – what an inadequate description that was, though – without losing it on him now. “_

_I thought that maybe it was one of the trainees. Or someone from one of the other BAU teams. That wouldn’t have been ideal, of course, but doable, or at least more doable than… this.”_

_Reid finally managed to lift his eyes to meet his superior’s. He had never felt more ashamed or humiliated in his life. Not once._

 

Hotch wasn’t surprised that he was the last one to enter the conference room. The team was anxious to know what had happened to Reid. Morgan looked furious, Garcia gave him a look of deep concern, and Rossi didn’t look surprised, oddly enough. He took a seat at the table and waited for the others to follow his lead.  
“I know you have questions about Reid. However, those are not mine to answer. Reid and I agreed that it would be better if he transferred to another team – for personal reasons. It has nothing to do with his performance, or anything that has happened here. As I said, it is strictly personal, and thus it’s all you need to know.”

His explanation was met with gasps and complaints. And Garcia’s watery sigh.

“He didn’t say goodbye. Hotch, something is _wrong_ here.” Her voice was quite but confident.

Hotch reminded himself that she was one of the best, after all, otherwise she wouldn’t be part of their family.  
“Garcia, drop it. I’m sure Reid will explain his actions once the time is right. I would appreciate if we could give him the space he obviously needs right now.”

He dismissed them with the order to get on top of their paperwork as long as they didn’t have a new case. Rossi was the only one who stayed behind.

“You look guilty, Aaron. I would too, if I had just told the team a lie as big as that.”

 

_Spencer couldn’t seem to get a word in. He wanted to explain – how he had had a crush on Hotch for years but had never had the courage to come clean about it, and how this had just been the means to an end. He hadn’t meant to hurt him. Reid sighed and bit his lip as he continued to listen._

_“I trusted you, Reid.”_

_His head snapped up when he heard his name. It seemed so out of place in this overly intimate moment._

_“I trusted you, possibly more than anyone else on the team. We have been working together for so long now… I don’t think I can explain how betrayed I feel at the thought of you invading my privacy like that.”_

_Finally, finally Spencer began to understand why Hotch was so angry. It wasn’t so much something about Reid’s person, but rather how he had gone about the whole thing. That had always been a possibility, and he had known it. So many of their cases focused on some form of stalking; it had surprised him that Hotch hadn’t shut down their line of communication right at the start._

_“Hotch…”_

_“No. Of course it was my choice to let this go on. I suppose you could always blame this on me. But the initial decision to use something that made me lock my door five times a night just in case you weren’t as non-threatening and charming as I hoped and thought… that was your decision.”_

_Spencer got to his feet abruptly._ _“I would like you to put in for a transfer on my behalf. Cruz is less likely to bother us with questions if the request comes directly from you. That would be easiest for both of us, I believe.”_

_How he managed to deliver this in a steady, calm voice was beyond him. Hotch’s anger and frustration had dissipated to make room for his disappointment. Reid couldn’t deal with that._

_“Reid, I’m not asking you to-“_

_“No,” he shook his head vehemently. “You are not. But I am asking you. Let me transfer to another team. I had to hide behind a pseudonym to talk to you, how do you think I will cope with having to work with you das in day out after tonight?”_

_Hotch was taken aback by how straightforward the man’s answer was. “Okay. I will request a transfer for you. But-“_ _Reid had already turned around to grab his coat and make his way to the door when Aaron managed to catch his arm. He forced the younger agent to look at him, at least for a moment._ _“I am angry and disappointed, yes. But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have gone out to dinner with you, if you had just asked.”_

_Spencer wasn’t sure if that made things better or worse._

“I didn’t lie,” Aaron said after a moment. “Spencer was the one who requested the transfer. It was his choice. Including everything that led up to his decision.” Rossi gave him a look that made clear how little he believed him.

“It’s what it is, Dave. There’s nothing to be gained from playing the blame game now. He already joined another team.”


End file.
